i am sorry. i should not resort to name calling. i know it is rude but i hope you realized that you just asked me a really rude question that probably do not deserve an answer.
do you really expect an answer anyway?
or do you expect me to just grunt and say,'well, shit happens'?
or do you want be to tell you that
after i turned 15, my taste buds suddenly turned haywire and realized that i have been missing a lot of flavors for not eating a lot when i was younger.
or do you expect me to tell you that i probably have hyperthyroid problem that makes me become fat even when i hardly eat.
or do you expect me to tell you the truth?
do you want me to detail to you that i started to be sexually molested at 6? or maybe even earlier, but fortunately did not remember.
and that for a time it just kept happening.
there was a time that i thought it was just me. i am the type.
a sexual molester would go around choosing prey, let say, in a bus. out of all the other female passenger, he would choose me. like it was written in my face.
and that only when i started gaining weight did it lessen and lessen. until it hardly happens anymore.
the truth is, i am still afraid. sometimes, even with the protection of my motherly body, my wide waist and my big built, they still stare. you have to understand, i know their stare. i can feel that they see the thin, scared person inside of me.
and i shiver.
